Saturday, April 30, 2005

Best News Ever!

I'm on my way home from rehearsal. Well, after beers after rehearsal. As I'm passing McDonald's, it's a little past midnight. But the Golden Arches are still lit. Seems to be a little late, but what can it hurt? So I throw caution to the wind, and go through the drive-thru. Lo and behold, they're still open!! How lucky can I be?? I'll tell you!

arch

Ever since this past Monday night, with absolutely no fanfare or announcement, McDONALD'S DRIVE-THRU IS OPEN 24 HOURS!! To you big city slickers, this probably isn't a big deal. Here in Buttfuck, MT, it's huge! I can't begin to express my joy at this prospect! Not that I patroninze the place on a weekly, let alone daily, basis, But after getting home at 3 AM or later after an out-of-town gig, there's nothing quite like a Big Mac, large fries and a chocolate shake to hit the spot! Along with a Quarter Pounder w/Cheese, 2 Filet-O-Fish, a McChicken, and, if you're really lucky, one or two McRibs! Let's see the creepy Burger King top THAT!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

A clue

If Ago had her choice of car to drive, it probably would be this...

L43-174_lg

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Mid-week pick-me-ups

As stated in my last post, I said I'd take the time to write if I found something really good or bad. Well, I found four things to share. And I have to say--THIS IS WHY I LOVE THE INTERNET!! You generally won't get to read this stuff in your local newspaper! (And on a side note--check out the picture on the right sidebar of these stories. It may only be up for the rest of today. Funny picture in a really tragic way...)
  • Story 1: Frogs in Germany. This story just SCREAMS for video!
  • Story 2: Scratch an itch. What did you say?
  • Story 3: Puppy love. Some people will do anything for love.
The last story deals with work. As I anticipated, this week has been horribly busy. This symphony concert that we're doing this Saturday has been a logistical nightmare. I've been very busy, very tired, and generally crabby--more so than usual. When I'm at work, I can't do any of my symphony work, which is a relief. So in an odd way, work has been my time to get away from it all. This week has been especially sweet.

This Saturday night we'll be hosting an "Adults Only" art show. This will feature sculptures, paintings and other artwork of a sexual or mature nature by local and regional artists. Fairly heady stuff for little ole conservative Montana! Beer, food, jazz, dirty pictures--should be a good evening for those not attending the symphony concert! Anyway, the owners want to run a slide show on the walls throughout the evening. A slide show of naked people. Hundreds of them. Where might we get these? THE INTERNET, of course. So my job this week, for four hours a day, is to download nude pictures, erotic photos, and slightly naughty stuff like that. HOW COOL IS THAT???

Of course, I do have to be careful. I can't use copyrighted photos, and I can't use minors, and they don't want anything terribly graphic. Basically, just safe, soft-core legal porn. It's actually an easy job, and it helps that I inexplicably knew where I might be able to find these sorts of images. To be fair to the ladies, I have to download some naked guy images. Ick. It's bad enough finding pictures of guys with their manhood blowing in the breeze, but it's something totally different when the camera comes in for an artsy close-up of some stud's sausage. And we're not talking little smokies here either. How do some of these guys walk in a "normal" fashion? **shudder** There is NOTHING photogenic about these damned things! Why can't there be some pics of some little smokies? It would make 90% of the men on earth feel at least adequate! I did find myself lingering a little at some of these sites, and found that somewhat distressing.... Fortunately, there's enough "art" sites with guys out there that I didn't have to go trolling any gay sites!

Anyway, I have two more days to download this stuff. Did I mention that they're actually paying me to do this?!?! They'd like to get about 400 images to display. I should be able to finish that up easy enough, as long as the regular work and the numerous trips to the bathroom don't get in the way!

Monday, April 25, 2005

Leave of Absence

This week is going to be a week from hell, and the ONLY way I'm going to get everything taken care of is to limit my online time. So don't expect a new post from me this week (unless something really good/bad happens, or I find some time at around 1 AM--and there's a couple of you who know I'm often surfing then!). I'll be checking in briefly from time to time to check up on people. I don't want to fall to far behind.

Hope y'all have a great week!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Reminiscing

I come home after two days of rehearsals and staff meetings, and decide I'm going to kick back, flip through the channels on TV, get bored and end up taking a little nap. Oh, no. That ain't gonna happen. I breeze past SVU (I think I've seen every episode). I stop at the Weather Channel for a minute. It's supposed to rain tonight. Then I land on the most attention-grabbing, time-wasting, nostalgia-inducing show on TV today. You know it, you love it, you hate it--VH1's "I Love the 80s".

I tuned in at about 1986. And damned if I didn't finish out the decade. Almost three and a half hours of a nice afternoon--SHOT TO HELL! And I'd already seen this show. A couple of times! You get Lionel Ritchie telling you what the "Make-Out Songs" of the year were (unfortunately, none of HIS were included!). You get "up-and-coming" comedians that no one's ever heard of giving their insights and witty commentary about music, TV, movies, etc. You even get a couple of 80s "icons" reminiscing about their glory days. But worst of all--all the things about the 80s that you thought you had risen above like a phoenix from the ashes--Milli Vanilli, New Kids On The Block, big hair, acid-washed jeans, etc., etc.--all hit you like the backwash from a warm can of Keystone Light. Or a music stand in the lips....

It's bad enough that VH1 has to subject us to this torture, but they came up with it after the stellar success of "I Love the 70s". At least that show had great things to remember. Platform shoes, Barry Manilow, Vietnam, disaster movies, Three's Company, gas shortages. Ah, those were great days!

But today was all about the 80s. To be honest, the 80s were a pretty good decade for me. But being forced to relive them is just cruel. Thank God I have until Friday before I have to watch "I Love the 80s Strikes Back"!

Friday, April 22, 2005

Bill the Cat

It's been a full two days now, and with the exception of Moose, NOT ONE OF YOU has commented on my change of profile pic, or waxed poetic about the finest cartoon strip ever to grace the newspaper, or possibly even noticed the change.
Bill-The-Cat
In the famous words of my muse, "Ack! Thfpppt!"

Poll Results III

The freakazoid description won, hands down.

Britney & Kevin
    Freakazoid parents-to-be (5)
    She's still thinking about the Madonna kiss (1)
    Just got married to make Justin jealous (1)
    Will celebrate the kid's 10th b-day at Neverland (1)
    Bimbo & the Boy (1)


New poll is up--

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Busy, busy, busy....

It's that time of the month. For two weeks I get cranky and irritable. I feel somewhat "out of control". I get headaches and I fatigue easily. I have painful joints, backache, heart palpitations and weight gain. Emotionally, I'm anxious, depressed, tense, and generally out of sorts. My moods can change at the drop of a dime. You all know what I'm getting at here--it's concert time again!

We're performing Mahler's 2nd Symphony next Saturday. It calls for a HUGE orchestra. I'm pulling in musicians from all over the state. Those of you in the more populous parts of the country (which should be most of you!) probably don't realize how hard it is to find 2 harpists who can play. I know that bigger cities usually have dozens to choose from. Around here, there's probably not more than 10 in a 500-mile radius. Then finding 2 contrabassoonists, when there's only three instruments in the entire state, let alone players. Etc., etc. But I've found everything I need. Right now, my headache is how to house all of them over the last two days of rehearsals without spending money. Shouldn't be a problem. Just more work on my end. We started rehearsals tonight. It's going to be a great concert, with over 200 singers/musicians on stage. That's a whole lot of stinky people in close quarters, but that's some of the fun! To add to the pressure/confusion, this concert will be celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the Helena Symphony, so we expect a packed house, and alot of pretentiousness going on. Gotta love culture!

The original plan for this post was to be an update about my chops. There's good news and bad news. The good news--it appears as though I can play with a minimum amount of pain. Externally, my lips are literally bruised (which is a weird thing), and a little tender yet on the inside--sorta like canker sores. The little scabs that formed on the outside seem to have fallen away on their own. Lips seem to heal pretty quickly. So I played OK tonight without any real problems. The bad news--the gash on my upper lip seems to have actually separated the small muscles in my embouchure (that's the muscles around the lips) where I was hit. It's like a permanent indentation. I'm not sure what that's going to do to my long-term playing, but I can't imagine that it'll be good. It might not be a problem, but I'm a little bit concerned.

My blogging and surfing time might be somewhat affected by all this time away. I'll try to keep up. Now it's time for some much needed sleep.....

Monday, April 18, 2005

Anagram Genius

I found a wonderful time-wasting site. It's an anagram generator. Put in your name, your web site's name, a poem--whatever. It's free to get one example (less than 30 letters), and there's a full program available for purchase. Just as an example, "Anagram Genius" comes up as "An Amazing Rage". Or, "George Bush" gives "He bugs Gore". Waste some time--give it a shot!

UPDATE: I googled "anagrams" last night and found a plethora (word of the day) of anagram sites. Most of which are free. Even one that will come up with 5000, if possible. Who knew?

A big honkin' thank you!!

Again, a big THANK YOU to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! There were a handful of new people who stopped by (including a guy who lives here in town and saw me driving down the street--God bless vanity plates!). A huge thank you to Julie and Moose (formerly Bone Girl--much easier name to call her!) for going above and beyond expectations with their "tributes". And to Lizabeth, Andi, Ty, and Rachel for putting a blurb up in their own blogs. To those who promised boobie pics or flowers--I'm waiting!

As mentioned in my previous post, the birthday was downright tame. I did get a balloon bouquet at work from Moose that was very nice. I ran out for dinner and a beer, then I went grocery shopping. Sort of pathetic that on a Friday night, my birthday, I'm shopping for groceries. But I'm old, so it's OK.

Saturday was much more exciting. We had a gig in Great Falls, so we're leaving town around 2:30 in the afternoon. We had to rearrange the U-Haul trailer to get everything in. There was a music stand wedged behind some drum cases. I'm trying to pull it out, and must have pulled the drum cases to the side a little.....

Have you ever seen the cartoons of Homer Simpson stepping on the rake and having the handle whack him in the face? And how funny that is?

The offending music stand totally blindsided me (which is tough to do when it's right in front of you). The side edge of the stand hits me straight on, right in the lips. It could not have hit me in a more damaging spot for a brass player. I only let out one expletive, and immediately covered my mouth to catch any teeth that might have wanted to fall out. My next thought was to check for blood. There was alot of it. So I grabbed the first thing I could to mop that up--a grossly dirty towel in my car. Dirt, dust, weird stains--I didn't care. I needed to stop the bleeding. Fortunately, the holes and gouges that the teeth put into my lips didn't bleed. Much. But the show must go on, so I insisted on getting some ice to curb the swelling. The ice was wrapped in the dirty towel, and as the ice melted, the dusty, dirty, weirdly-stained towel turned into a mud wrap. Well, not that bad, but it makes for a good story.

Once we finished setting up for the gig, we ran over to Applebee's for dinner. I really wasn't hungry, and my mouth hurt, but I really liked the looks of their drinks. The short story on my "dinner": 2 Bahama Mamas (coconut rum, creme of banana, and other fufu-type things) and their biggest glass of Killian's. And I got a chocolate sundae for my birthday from the day before, so that was nice. The booze didn't do a thing to me, but the frosty cold drinks felt good!

The gig was pretty good, and my lips were fairly numb by that point, so the night went pretty well. Didn't get home until around 3 AM, and I didn't go to bed until around 4. You can find a picture of the injury, and the band, over at my other blog. I also sent the picture to Moose and the Eye Girl (who was still up--so we chatted for a little bit).

Getting home late means I slept most of Sunday. Moose did call and wake me at 9 AM. I'm always glad to hear from her, but did she check to see what time I sent the pics to her?? I stayed up to read the paper, then went back to bed. I did get up in time to join the rest of my family to do the family b-day party in the afternoon. We BBQd steaks, played some poker, and generally enjoyed the time together. All in all, a laid-back weekend, with various doses of adrenaline. Sorry I couldn't be more exciting, but geez--I'm old!!

Long weekend

The weekend proved to be a bit more hectic and dangerous than anticipated. Lots to write about, but no time right now. I survived the full birthday weekend (I'm too old to get into trouble anymore!), and we had a gig, and I spent alot of time in bed. Sleeping. More about everything later--

Friday, April 15, 2005

Poll Results

Many thanks to all that promised gifts for my birthday, and even more to those who actually delivered! (I'll still accept late deliveries!) It was a relatively balanced list. For the tax return status question, the majority of you had already received a refund, and put it to great use. No slackers in this group! The results:

For my birthday--
    Flowers (0)
    Nice e-card from Hallmark (1)
    Cash (0)
    Semi-nude, but tasteful, photos of yourself (4)
    Cold six-pack of beer (3)
    A happy thought (2)
    Squat (3)
    Peace on Earth (that's more of a Christmas present) (2)
    A virgin (1)
    Other.....? (2)
      Come home in 3 weeks to drink beer
      Dr.Claw's Home Uterus Removal Kit


On the tax question--are your taxes done?
    I've already bought a month's worth of therapy with my refund. (6)
    Taxes? We don't neen no stinkin' taxes! (1)
    H & R Block uses my return as advanced training for their preparers. (1)


New poll is up in the sidebar.

Happy Dance!!

YIPPEE!! IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!
self snoopy DSCF1197_1
Well, not Snoopy's. But it is for Lenny da Vinci (b.1452) and me (b.1957).
Notice any resemblance? That Renaissance Man look?
It's also T's birthday (and her twin's). Go check her out too!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Last Chance!

I'll leave the polls up throughout the day Friday, so that any of you who haven't yet taken either of them get the chance.

Looks like it will be a well balanced birthday in the gift dept.! For those of you promising the pics, you can get my email by checking out some of the links on this page. You should be able to find it with minimal investigation!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Time's a-runnin' out!

There's a little less than 35 hours before my birthday! Which means time is running out to answer the birthday poll over there in the sidebar. And not much time to get your taxes done, if you haven't already (that would be me!).

As an experiment, and another cool birthday thing, I want everyone who comes by here to mention my birthday on their own sites on Friday, complete with a link to here.

It can be a full post, dedicated to me, Osbasso.

Or maybe just a little blurb (boring!).

If I knew what the hell I was doing here, I'd write a little script that you could just click on and it would miraculously appear on your site. But I don't know how, so I leave the creativity up to you. I'm curious as to how far-flung and expansive we really are.

And I'm also narcissistic! Which is not a bad thing! Dammit, if you're not willing to toot your own horn (so to speak!), why should anyone else?

So go for it. Please note that I've given you a day and a half to come up with something spectacular on Friday! And remember--for the rest of the week, it's all about ME!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

My iPod

I somehow missed this, but apparently GWB has an iPod, and his playlist is being checked out, criticized, panned, etc. In response, a number of people have posted their playlists. I don't use my iPod so often that I need to divide up my library into playlists. I generally just let it go on its own and play whatever it wants. Since this week is all about ME, here are the last 20 songs played on my iPod (most recent first). It apparently had a penchant for country music recently....
    Poco - I Go To Rio
    Blue County - Good Little Girls
    Deana Carter - We Danced Anyway
    Sawyer Brown - Mission Temple Fireworks Stand
    Madonna - La Isla Bonita
    Alison Krauss - Forget About It
    No Doubt - Don't Speak
    Alison Krauss - When You Say Nothing At All
    She Thinks She Needs Me - Andy Griggs
    Alison Krauss + Union Station - The Lucky One
    Linda Ronstadt - When Will I Be Loved
    Cross Canadian Ragweed - Sick And Tired
    Dolly Parton - Shine
    Adam Ant - Goody Two Shoes
    Huey Lewis - Feeling Alright
    Dixie Chicks - Wide Open Spaces
    Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
    Trace Adkins - Rough & Ready
    Wynonna Judd - No One else On Earth
    Shania Twain - Man! I Feel Like A Woman!

Some people's children...

I know that this week is supposed to be all about me (and apparently T, too!), but I ran across this, and I had to share. Be sure to get to the last paragraph for a possible motive. Gotta love them white boys in New England!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Gift update

Just in case you haven't checked recently, the birthday poll is going pretty well so far. To date, it looks like I'll be getting boobs, beer and a wicked device by Dr. Claw. And a public thank you to the person who already sent me their picture! If you haven't had a chance to tell me yet (I know, it was a long weekend for some of you), be sure to get to the poll this week! Friday's the big day!

Other random things:
    Today's CD recommendation: Katie Melua "Call Off the Search"
    Winner of the 2005 Master's Tournament: Tiger Woods
    Price of gas in Helena, MT: $2.19/gallon (average)
    Currently watching while blogging: "Independence Day" on FX
    Comic strip I miss most: "Far Side"
    Followed closely by: "Bloom County" & "Calvin & Hobbes"
    In Cahoots w/Mob Rules Horns "Alive @ Five" gig: Sept. 14th
    Drink flavor I wish I could find: Watermelon--I know it exists!

That's about it. Sort of a slow day, and not much more to write about. Time to go to bed!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Another one (a haiku!)

Stole this from Lizbeth.
It's all about me this week.
(X indicates true)

    ( ) I'VE NEVER BEEN DRUNK
    (X) I'VE NEVER SMOKED POT
    ( ) I'VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
    ( ) I'VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
    (X) I'VE NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND’S CAR
    (X) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
    ( ) I'VE NEVER RIDDEN IN A TAXI
    ( ) I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER SHOPLIFTED
    ( ) I'VE NEVER BEEN FIRED
    ( ) I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
    (X) I'VE NEVER TRIED ECSTACY
    ( ) I'VE NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT’S HOUSE
    (X) I'VE NEVER BEEN CHEATED ON
    ( ) I'VE NEVER CHEATED ON SOMEONE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER DATED SOMEONE, BUT WANTED SOMEONE ELSE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER RECEIVED A SPEEDING TICKET
    ( ) I'VE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
    ( ) I'VE NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
    ( ) I'VE NEVER STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
    (X) I'VE NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER GONE ON A BLIND DATE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
    (X) I'VE NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
    (X) I'VE NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
    (X) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
    (X) I'VE NEVER CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE
    (X) I’VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED
    (X) I'VE NEVER POSED NUDE
    ( ) I'VE NEVER DRIVEN A CAR ILLEGALLY
    ( ) I'VE NEVER BEEN ON TV

And now Haloscan...

503 Service Unavailable
The service is not available. Please try again later.

On a happier note, Blogger seems to have ended its temper tantrum!

April 15th

First off, and for Lizabeth's sake, I can say that I have fallen victim to Blogger's incompetence. I finally understand the frustration that I had read about in everyone else's posts. But as I also read in one or two of them--you get what you paid for!

In any case, two new polls went up last night before I could explain them. April 15th is coming up quickly, and we're all aware of the significance of that date! That's right--it's MY BIRTHDAY!!! Number 48, for those of you who are counting. Which means that for the next week, it's going to be all about ME. Even more so than usual...

In order to help all of you with that, I put up the first poll, which will give me an idea of what I should be expecting from you for my birthday. It also will help you, in case you find that there's a heavy emphasis on one particular type of gift over the others, so that you can choose something else that will make you stand out in the crowd. Oh, and if you're planning on more than one thing for me, feel free to take the poll more than once!

Oh yeah--next Friday is also Tax Day, so that's what the second poll is all about. Feel free to take that one too!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

First Poll Winners Are....

the rodent thingies from the Quiznos commercials. The overwhelming "favorites" for "Creepiest Character" by taking exactly 50% of the votes. Be sure to click on the link if you haven't seen it, or need a refresher!
    The spot: A small, furry creature, wearing a bowler hat, levitates as he sings an ode to Quiznos subs. Nearby, another flying creature wears an 18th century seafaring hat, and strums on an acoustic guitar. Song lyrics: "We love the subs! 'Cuz they are good to us. The Quiznos subs. They are tasty, they are crunchy, they are warm because they toast them. They got a pepper bar!"

Tied for second, with 20% of the votes each, were the Old Dancing Guy for "Six Flags", and Michael Jackson. The creepy "King" for Burger King collected 10% of the vote.

Other than the fact that only 10 people voted, I thought the whole poll thing was a success! Which means I'll continue for a bit...

Cochran Funeral

Michael Jackson spent the day at the Johnny Cochran funeral. So did O.J. Simpson. Rap mogul Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, civil rights activists Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton, actor Sidney Poitier, singer Stevie Wonder, record producer Quincy Jones and Motown Records founder Berry Gordy were also on the guest list.

Guest list? Was there a dinner or award ceremony? Did you have to be invited? The Pope dies, and 4 million people are going to show up--UNINVITED!! But Johnny Cochran had to have a guest list??? And about this guest list--I'm not racist, but it sounds like Michael was the lightest skinned person there!

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Happy Anniversary!

On April 5, 1997, the Montana Capitol Restoration Ball hired two bands to play for the evening. The first, the Norm Brunken Big Band, played big band dance music for two hours. Shortly thereafter, a local rock band, In Cahoots, was to play the last two hours. As an experiment, 6 horns were added to the band at the end of each set, for a total of 6 songs. Before the end of the first set, it was obvious that the experiment was a huge success. And thus was born the best band in town! In Cahoots w/the Mob Rules Horns. Check out the pics on the other blog--the characters have changed a little bit from the picture in the sidebar down below. A future blog might go into the origins of the name, but for now--Happy 8th Anniversary!!

Texas Hold 'Em

Just when I thought that violence in the schools was on the decline, and students were beginning to behave (who really thought any of that??), I ran across this. To my Texas readers--is there something in the tequila down there or something like that? I'll bet if they'd publicized it ahead of time and sold tickets, they'd have been able to pay for the senior class trip!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

X to I

Ten to One

I've seen this on a couple of blogs. I stole it from Andi. I generally think of these things as sorta girlish, but I'm in that kind of mood (insert your own comments....). My guess is that my answers would change if I took it again tomorrow. Here they are with no particular order:

10 ENTIRELY RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
1. I've played golf for almost 40 years, and I've never had a hole-in-one.
2. I've had the first green beer out of the tap at O'Toole's every St. Patrick's Day since 1993.
3. I used to be an altar boy.
4. There used to be a time when I consumed at least a six-pack of Dr. Pepper a day.
5. I love Christmas music.
6. I don't like tomatoes, avacados, artichokes or mushrooms.
7. I have a picture of me and Bone Girl with Alison Krauss (and her autograph!).
8. I've never travelled anywhere by train.
9. I have a master's degree in music education.
10. I'm a Mac geek, and proud of it, but I don't smoke dope, contrary to the stereotype.

9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
1. Be able to listen to my rambling and feign interest.
2. Enjoy music.
3. Drink beer.
4. Be confident in yourself.
5. Allow me to treat you like a princess.
6. Teach me new things.
7. Surprise me.
8. Put up with my insecurities.
9. Care.

8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY
1. Debit card
2. Comb
3. Keys
4. Wallet
5. Tennis shoes
6. Drum key
7. Belt
8. Little black book (weekly calendar/phone #s)

7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
1. Ignorant people
2. Litterbugs
3. Gossip & rumors
4. Lame excuses
5. Snipers on eBay (unless it's me!)
6. Dial-up modems
7. Three-putts, especially from within 20'

6 PLACES I'VE VISITED
1. Mt. St. Helens
2. Rochester, MN
3. Washington, D.C.
4. Olympia Brewing Co.
5. Denver
6. Victoria, B.C.

5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE (revised 4/3/05)
1. Go to Ireland
2. Build a house
3. Become a father
4. Become a grandfather
5. Play a round of golf at Augusta National Golf Club

4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
1. Drowning
2. Being alone
3. Losing friendships
4. Heights

3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY
1. Shower
2. Go online
3. Pray

2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW
1. Gain more weight
2. Spend money foolishly

1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW
1. Mary Hoff Giuliani (to say goodbye)

Ponderings, Peeves & Puzzlements

With apologies to LBB, who seems to make these lists as easily as God makes little green apples, I've come up with a list of gripes and observations. If I offend anyone with this list, grow up, deal with it, and don't take it personally!
    --Why do some people feel the need to use their turn signal only after they're halfway through the turn? I believe the intent of the signal is to warn others that you're going to turn, not to confirm that you've actually started the turn.

    --The word "then" implies a reaction to something, or a reference to time; the word "than" is used in a comparative situation. The words are not interchangeable!! "Colder then a witch's tit" is wrong. "Colder than a witch's tit" is correct. Get it right, people!

    --Regardless of how good you may think that your singing voice is, asking if you can sing with the band is an invitation for disaster. It is not something that the band looks forward to, and you don't have the talent to do it without a rehearsal. And thinking that being drunk helps is just wrong. Go back to the dance floor and make a fool of yourself out there.

    --Country music has no business using a full string section and harp in any song, regardless of who records it. If you can't do it with one or two fiddles, then you've overwritten the song.

    --The flat tummy seen between the low riding pants and the high riding shirt is not a bad thing. But who told obese teenaged girls that their gut that hangs over their pants (making MY beer gut look sexy) is something that anyone wants to see?

    --Blond-haired, blue-eyed, white cheerleaders named Tiffany will never be gangsta. Someone should tell them not to try.

    --One more time. Jethro Tull and Lynyrd Skynyrd are band names, not real people. J. Geils and Spencer Davis are real people, but not the frontmen of their respective bands. There is no world famous band known as the Almond Brothers.

    --Women and 4-way stops. Why is there a problem?

    --Why must soloists try to sing the "Star-Spangled Banner" slowly and add totally inappropriate vocal pyrotechnics? It just makes a horridly difficult song that much worse.

    --When emailing, learn the difference between "Reply" and "Reply to all".

    --Same thing with forwarding. You are allowed to delete non-essential info, and in fact are encouraged to do so!

    --Why do people think that, once they've made a commitment to something, it's OK to back out of it?

    --When you're out dancing to LIVE music (the only real music, thank you), don't ask the band if they know "Y.M.C.A.", "Proud Mary", "Freebird", or "Achy-Breaky Heart". Chances are they might, but they're not going to play it for you.

    --Along the same lines--if the band is a funky horn band, don't ask for any Judas Priest, Marilyn Manson or ABBA.

Friday, April 01, 2005

God Bless You, John Paul II

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His death hasn't been announced yet, but it seems inevitable. I hope he hangs on for a little bit longer, sort of giving the news channels the finger! And the right-to-lifers, too. (He apparently already has a living will.)

I wouldn't consider myself a devout Catholic. Mostly because of laziness on my part. But I am Catholic. Having grown up with Pope Paul IV, and remembering the time when we had three different popes in one year, and seeing Pope John Paul II surviving an assassination attempt. It saddens me that we're about to lose him. But it's also a time to celebrate, because he is starting his new life. In watching the news tonight, it was nice to see the video of him early in his papacy. He was so vibrant, energetic and full of life. It was hard to remember that he was like that, after seeing him over the past few months.

God bless you, John Paul II! And good luck to whomever is chosen next!